Before you read this, go to Youtube or your iTunes library and play the song “Alive with the Glory of Love” by Say Anything.
I remember the first time I heard this song by Say Anything. It was in the season 6 season finale of my all time favorite show Scrubs. The scene shows Eliot and JD laying on a bed together discussing the past, the present and the future. The episode is entitled “The Point of No Return”. While JD is about to have a baby with his old GF and Eliot is about to get married to her longterm fiancé, they reminisce over their shared love together. What got me about this scene was that as they discussed their old and buried love for one another, they discovered this ever-present yet fleeting moment of brief emotion digging up from within begging the question,
“Could we be making the biggest mistake of our lives?”
The scene cuts to black just before they kiss. When season 7 starts back up, they are in the same place and what happens? They don’t kiss. And I remember when I was 17 and I saw this, I thought,
“I guess old love can’t be relit.”
We have our one chance at love with someone and that is it. And when I went to college, I stopped watching the show. But about two years later I was talking to the friend who originally showed me the show and when we were sharing stories of the past, he asked,
“Did you ever catch the finale to Scrubs?” And when I said I hadn’t you would have thought his dropping jaw was going to knock our table over.
“You have to go home and watch it now.” I told him I would, but I really didn’t get around to it…
Until about a year later. It was the summer before my senior year of college. I hadn’t watched the show in near three years and all I could think about was the big let down of them not having this ever possible chance to love one another. But when I started the last season, I quickly realized, they were together, and they were in love. And it made me question myself,
“Can old love be relit?”
I was a boy raised in a home where the love between a man and a woman was non-existent. Everything I learned about love was from chic flicks and well written TV. As I sit here and admit that to myself and on the page, I think about how much it explains in my life.
I was a boy raised with the belief that second chances made love possible. I was a boy raised with the belief that love withstood anything. I was a boy raised by the belief that love was not something that ever went away.
When I first began to fall in love, I thought, this is nothing like the shows and rom-coms I have been taking thorough notes of for the past 10 years. But as I grew up and my capabilities of love grew and I learned, it started to make sense. And as someone who was raised by witty flicks with heart breaking one liners, my favorite description about how you know you’re in love was from a wonderful show called Castle,
“All the songs make sense.”
In those moments of pure heart stopping, gut wrenching, cold sweat causing, teary eye wiping, emotionally frustrated gesturing, passionate, mindless, unconditional, painful, agonizing, desperate, peaceful, hopeful, enduring, brain melting, selfless, true,
L O V E
Everything makes sense… And yet nothing does. But somehow, all the billboard toppers seem to come over the radio and I find myself continuously changing them because despite how angry I am that in this moment of internal struggle, Taylor Swift seems to say the right things to hit the right buttons and make me just belt out in the sweet safety of my car,
“You are so right TAYLOR SWIFT!”
Love has taught me so much in the past 6 years. I have learned that despite being able to run through 10,000 volts of electricity on a casual Sunday afternoon, love can be more painful than anything on this earth. It is one of the most powerful emotions we as human beings can feel. I say powerful very confidently for a reason which some might find insignificant but one which I find relevant.
When I am lifting at the gym, I tend to rely on my emotions to give me the boost of energy to push for another rep or to add more weight. When I am lifting and I’m filled with love, I feel more powerful than anyone.
Love has the ability to give us power. Give us power over one another and over ourselves.
It can be used for good and bad.
It can be used to hurt and to heal.
It can be given and it can be taken away.
But despite the question of how one can use love, I believe there is one thing that remains true about love.
Love NEVER dies.
I was raised in a household where I saw love die. And in my lifetime, I refuse to let it. If I believed love could die, I don’t think I could believe in much anymore.
It is for that reason that I shared with a friend one cold night a small fact I rarely share with people. We were talking about life difficulties and challenges and she asked how I was able to remain happy through them and I said,
“I try to fall in love everyday.” Because while love can be used to hurt us in the most cruel and torturous ways. It can make us happy. And there is so little in this earth that provides us with pure happiness. And I think in that respect, love never fails.
Fall in love everyday. With a trait, a song, a sound, a smell, a quality, a feeling, a sight, a fact, a name, a story, a phrase, a belief, a moral, a value, an idea, and maybe if you’re lucky,
a very special person.
With all the lessons I’ve learned over the years, I’ve learned a lot about love. I’ve learned a lot and yet so little. And while it isn’t the best for a boy to grow up learning love from the big pictures and prime time lineups, it gave him hope.
It gave him hope that despite all the odds. Despite poor timing. Despite mistakes made. Despite judgements past. Despite old relationships. Despite new relationships. Despite beliefs. Despite goals. Despite let downs. Despite successes. Despite all the evil. Despite all the good.
Love. Never. Dies.